“ How Do You Manage It? I Couldn’t; I’m Way Too Jealous !” A Qualitative Research on How Polyamorous People Deal with Their Partners’ Relationships

Polyamorous relationships are a form of consensual non-monogamy involving multiple intimate relationships with mutual consent. Despite frequent discussion of jealousy, little is known about how polyamorous individuals experience and navigate their partners’ concurrent relationships and the emotions these may evoke. We conducted ad hoc semi-structured interviews with 15 adults living in Italy who were involved in at least one polyamorous relationship (duration: 8 months–17 years; M = 3.9 years). Participants identified as women (n = 6), non-binary spectrum (n = 6), or men (n = 3), with a mean age of 30.6 years. Interviews focused on experiences of partners’ other relationships, moments of distress, and resources used to restore emotional balance over time. Transcripts were analyzed independently by two raters using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA). Five superordinate themes emerged: (i) The bittersweetly warm experience of having a metamour; (ii) Loss, rejection, and neglect (real or imagined) undermining attachment security; (iii) Coping strategies regulating distress through support and self-care; (iv) Cognitive strategies reframing jealousy and insecurity; and (v) Shared values that shape sense-making and support coping. Participants described a broad emotional repertoire, including compersion, jealousy, and fear of loss. They reported using communication, boundary setting, reassurance seeking, and self-care, alongside cognitive reframing and emotion regulation, to manage distress. Community-based meanings, such as valuing autonomy, honesty, and relational flexibility, also supported coping. These findings highlight the interplay of intrapersonal, interpersonal, and cultural resources in navigating partner non-exclusivity, and may inform future research and clinical practice with this population.