A Long Parents’ Journey After Children’s Coming Out: Obstacles, Relationships, Generativity, and Life Balance

Parents’ perspective on their child’s coming out (CO) remains an under-researched area, especially the investigation of parents adapting to their role post-CO years. The study qualitatively explored parents’ recollections of their children’s CO, spanning over 15 years. The study involved 15 parents (9 mothers, 6 fathers) of 4 lesbian daughters (Mage = 20.7; SDage = 7.8) and 11 gay sons (Mage = 23.0; SDage = 6.2). A semi-structured interview was employed to probe parents’ responses to their child’s CO and the long-term evolution of their CO experiences (M = 20.1; SD = 4.8). A thematic analysis was conducted through the software ATLAS.ti. Four themes were observed: (1) risk and protective factors; (2) effects of CO on relationships; (3) parents’ generativity; (4) life balance. Acceptance challenges included a lack of LGBQ+ awareness and difficulties in sharing the disclosure with extended family, particularly grandparents. Parents reported numerous strategies, some involving parental generativity, like LGBQ+ activism. Milestones like marriage and the arrival of grandchildren reinforced parents’ protective role as they aged, with the child’s LGBQ+ disclosure marking a transformative moment leading to a more authentic relationship.